Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Thoughts about other people's vomit...

So I probably should not do my first ever post this late at night and give it the title that I did, but you know, I'm just going to dive in...

DISCLAIMER: this post is not entirely about other people's vomit. 

So, I'm going to start off with some backstory...

I'm a Social Work major and freshman at the University of Alabama and I have been attending (and loving) Church of the Highlands since I moved from Birmingham to Tuscaloosa.  I am the oldest of five children and our family is wild and crazy and awesome so I love going home to visit them (and also my boyfriend, Noah) whenever I can.  So this Wednesday was Motion night which is basically just a worship night for middle school through college students that they only offer at the Grants Mill (Birmingham) and Auburn campuses.  My good friend Matt and I decided that after classes we would head to Birmingham, visit our parents, pick up Noah and go.  

So that's what we did.  

Matt comes to get into my car and says "hey, I think there is puke on your car." I really wasn't that bad? Probably. I just sighed and got on the road to Birmingham and didn't really think much more about it.  

I got to visit with Matt's parents, see my whole family, eat some awesome homemade chili and revel in the hysteria that is evenings at my house. 

 And, y'all. I got lots of hugs.  Fun Fact: your freshman year in college, you don't know people well enough to give legitimate hugs...Just saying.

So anyways, we went to Motion and it was great.  We had an awesome worship time, just having fun bringing due praise to our awesome God and listening to a great message about our view of God and how it shapes our relationship with Him, brought by David Perkins.  

So we leave after a great night to take Noah back to his house and go back to Tuscaloosa and OHMYGOSH gas for $2.99?!?!? No way. So obviously we stopped.  So I start pumping gas and Noah goes inside to get a coke and Matt's chilling in the car, and when Noah comes back out, I remember about the vomit on the side of my car.  So I grab the squeegee *insert sigh* and go to get it off.  

Noah: "what are you doing? That is for your windshield. By the way, you need a carwash."
Me (casually): "Are you offering? I'm getting the vomit off my car."
Matt: *laughing hysterically in the back seat*

So as we drop Noah off at his house, I was thinking about how nice it is to be in a house instead of a dorm and how painful it was to leave after only being in Birmingham for a couple of hours, pretending to be in my old lifestyle while attempting to escape the new one.  It didn't help that Matt and Noah were both trying convince me to just drive back the next morning.  

When I got back to my dorm, (after getting off the elevator on the wrong floor and walking into 539 instead of 639 {LOCK YOUR DOORS, PEOPLE}) I received a text message from one of my good friends from my high school small group that was just incredibly sweet and thoughtful.  We talked for a while and then she told me she had seen my tweet about the puke incident, and that she was sorry that I had to deal with that and we got to talking, and y'all she brings out my deep dark feelings for some odd reason.  

I started telling her about how this trip home made me wish I could just sprint back into my mom's arms and forget half of the things I've seen and the lifestyles that people live and just go back to my old way of life, but how I don't think I could ever move back home.  You know what she responded with?

Ignorance is bliss. and Growing up is hard.  


I used to scoff at people who told me "just wait until you get into the real world" (but really don't tell people that) but I don't think I'm, by definition, even in the "real world" yet.  And this is hard, so...

Growing up is hard.  6 months ago I was practically pulling my hair out just wanting to be out of my house and on my own.  I felt like I was going crazy, and my family probably would testify to my actual lack of sanity at that time.  I don't want to say that I felt like a caged animal, but I did. I wasn't by any means, but that's how I felt.  I sit here and laugh at that girl and long for my trips back to THAT house...that beautiful house.   

So while thinking and reflecting on all these things while talking to my dear friend, I realized something. 

I learned this technique for counseling in my Intro to Social Work class (which I love).  I don't know what it is called, but when you get anxious or overwhelmed, you ground yourself.  You think about yourself right now.  What are you doing? Are you incredibly uncomfortable or in great need at this exact moment? Currently, right now, you have no pressing needs? Well then, you're okay.  Live in that moment and enjoy it.  Slow down and see and notice things.  Take everything one step at a time instead of stressing yourself out about everything you need to do.  

I realized that in each stage of my life that I was unhappy with (or currently struggling with) there is really not anything super wrong.  I'm okay.  I was okay 6 months ago.  

I am discontent, for very small reasons.  

Sure I go to a huge party school as a non-partier and people puke on my car, but I'm at a great school that a lot of people can't afford.  I have a great church family that I'm slowly getting to know and love.  I have a family and others around me that love me no matter what and above all, I am the daughter of the King.  Certified princess. God loves me and he has total control over my life.  

And on top of all of that I open up my computer and one of the blogs I follow had a whole post about the difference between joy and happiness and about how to find joy in every day. 

 It's just been one of those nights.

So yeah, growing up is hard and I wish I didn't have to deal with some of the stuff I do, but you know, I am content and joyful and thankful (all at the same time) for the first time in a while.

And you know what?

I'm going to be just fine.

From the desk of Waverly Jones

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